I am beyond honored to share this article, written by my incredibly kind, beautiful, and talented friend & client, Remington Layne.
My Friend Jess: Jessica Roscoe's Tale of Triumph
What if I told you that there was a girl who, through the tumultuous love affair of despair and hope, transformed into an enigmatic treasure trove of wonder embodied by a grown woman? Who inspired ceaselessly, who stunned gracefully, and whose gravitational pull was so strong, people could would find themselves lost in the light she radiated. That light would pull them in by the hand as if to guide a friend to a new adventure that would forever be imprinted in their memory. This woman exists. This woman is real. This woman is Jessica Adalyn Roscoe.
Upon meeting this woman, people are taken aback–but not intimidated– by her flood of positivity; her smiles that carry invitations, invitations that make you feel as if they were solely made with you in mind. You see, Jess was introduced to the world with a divine radiance that can only be described in quality as “utter purity”. I am not just referring to looks, but the totality of who she is. Who her soul is.
That doesn’t mean that it was an easy or just life for her but it means her life tested her bounds, strengthening her, watering the seed inside, until it grew from the ashes into a vibrant, violet, rose. A rose that could only be given the gift of life from strife itself.
If you ask Jess about why she is a personal trainer, why she invests so much in her own well being compounded with caring for others, she wouldn’t hesitate to tell you her story. In that story the chapters would depict a nightmarish mentality that seeked to destroy the very body that carried it.
Encased in this mentality were the black bed of buds that rapidly blossomed into bleak beds of deathly flowers. Doubt and Anxiety bloomed with their petals exuding scents of Manipulation. This scent permeated into her mind, disseminating through her thoughts, allowing Doubt and Anxiety to impregnate her mind with Self-Hatred and Misery.
They would manifest for almost 15 years.
During those years, her mind waged a war. Doubt, Anxiety, Self-Hatred, and Misery took a toll physically, mentally, and emotionally. The arsenal was too powerful to stop. It wages a war with the image in the mirror, assaulting your vision by forcing it to look at something it doesn’t want to be exposed to. It forms attacks against the very thing society today is trying to say is beautiful. Your personality, the windows to your soul, the way you speak, how your body looks, your hair, and your natural or unnatural looks. Yet for some reason…it’s not enough. None of the inspirational quotes, posts, videos, or words of affirmation are working.
Because Doubt has impregnated your mind with its roots; growing the possibility of more seedlings birthing Anxiety’s offspring. Soon, there is Disgust, Envy, and Loathing that are all being incubated deep in your ego. Once they bloom, terrible tragedies begin to rise. We can develop self-harm, eating disorders, addictions, a belief system built on thoughts of worthlessness, insecurity, paranoia, and anxiety. By then, positivity from others only does so much to alleviate a small portion of the hellish realm you live in everyday with yourself.
Living through this, the mind is so debilitated it convulses on the ground lying there for hours; basically dead, it binges on one thought but then purges the next; it’s starving itself out of self loathing because it honestly believes it doesn’t deserve to be full of the wonders life has bestowed.
Unfortunately for Jess, this was all too real.
How do we overcome this then? How can we stop this seed from having a life? The true anecdote is another seed that lies inside of you. This seed though, is buried deeply in our souls which makes it much harder to attain in the beginning unless incubated correctly. This seed in our soul is so powerful it has the ability to overpower any seedling that could possibly occupy our minds. To get to it, you must reach the point of desiring emotional self-sufficiency. You have to want to make yourself happy. To be your own hero. To be your own judge. To impress yourself and no one else. This journey is nearly impossible to start. But it is possible. Jessica Roscoe did it.
At the age of 22, Jess decided that enough was enough. She allowed this seed deep inside of her to grow. This seed was filled with the light that would soon encapsulate Jess and radiate for all to see; making her synonymous with that word: light. The realization struck her that she could be more than a disorder, than a label, than whatever Anxiety and Doubt puppeteered her to be. She realized that her identity had yet to be explored–let alone met.
It was at this time she became acquainted with the gym. It was there that her identity would unfold and her inner seed would bloom.
She wrote her own meal plan, diligently dedicating herself to working out. For Jess, it actually served a replenishing activity; helping her to reconstruct her muscles, her shape, her mentality. Every breath gasped during a workout served as a dose of medicine for her body and with each pound gained, a new high score in her health would transpire.
Once fitness was introduced to her life, Jess went on to train competitively. This didn’t come about without a hunger for knowledge though. She fed her mind with fitness research, experience, and what the meaning of a “fit” life truly means. With each ounce of knowledge that watered mind, her golden bud grew into a small vibrant, violet, rose. Once it was in full bloom, the success Jessica always deserved would come.
With the growth her body and mind had experienced, Jess was ready for her first show. That show would change her life once more and the success that would be garnered thereafter could only be described as a rite of passage for her soul.
She won 1st place in her first ever Bodybuilding competition. Her accolades now are enough to make any of her peers in the fitness industry awe in wonder over her talent:
- She has won four 1st place titles
- She has won three overalls
- She has won three top 5’s.
- She received her Pro-Card within her first year of competing at the 2014 NANBF Northern States Natural Classic.
- She won the title of Overall Bikini Champion at the IFPA Pro North American Champions–this would be her pro-debut.
- Earned a spot to compete at the IFPA Yorton Cup World Champions.
I could write a book on Jess if she let me honestly, she has so much to give, to offer, and to experience yet in her life. Her very being is a miraculous and to those who frequent Metroflex, she is a miracle worker. To me, she is a lightworker.
She has transcended the very essence of perseverance. When I hear students I tutor speak ill of their bodies, say they can’t start working out, express the fear they have, I tell them about my friend Jess. I refer them to her because she has the ability to connect. I firmly believe that Jess’s sole purpose is to be a beacon for others in this life. She was for me when I began at Metroflex.
In Jess, I have met someone who has more in common with me than what I expected. Except our commonalities come in opposites: I love the art of make-up and she just happens to be a make-up artist; I love writing music but can’t sing and Jess has a beautifully incomparable voice; I began my fitness journey on the heavy end of the scale and Jess began hers on the smaller end. She has knowledge and skill in things that interest me and vice versa. We are a pretty good balance. I look at Jess and see this sacred message of self love being embodied. She has a comforting nature about her, an accepting nature, a nature that is so pure that whatever anxiety or fear you may have pertaining to the gym or wellness can be stripped away.
When I look at Jess, I see that the unobtainable, the impossible, the “that’s not meant for me”, is obtainable, is possible, and can be meant for me. Her kindness is unwavering, her message is impossible to miss, and her existence is important to this world.
To me, I don’t just see “Jessica Roscoe the fitness trainer”, I see my astrology buddy, my fellow paranormal junkie, make-up artist/lover, fellow introverted adventurer, Britney Spears lover, goofball, and someone I can say is a real good friend of mine.
No matter what is thrown her way, no matter how personal or difficult, I hope that all the qualities that she possesses never fall. I hope that she knows people care for her just as much she cares for everyone else. I hope that she always keeps in mind the worth and value that her life carries in this world and that she always realizes what she deserves. She has earned everything and more.
The funniest thing is…
When she speaks on her life, the bubbly tone never pops. It continues to float, shining, reflecting beautiful colors keeping you in awe. The pain of the weight sitting so heavy on her mind’s state for so long couldn’t crush her immortal spirit. Now, Jess allows her spirit to shine every moment of her day. Lifting that weight in more ways than one. No matter if she is sick, pissed, or sad she always finds something to smile for. The silver lining always shines through for Jess’s eye to catch no matter how immersed in darkness the time is.
That is a rarity. That is a gift. That is my friend. That is Jessica Roscoe